Prince Update ~ 7 January 2014: “Go with the flow”
Today was generally a good day, as a couple of different friends asked me tonight. I find it odd that my life seems to be mostly about how mostly Prince and Blaze do on a particular day. I am fortunate in that I am home with them, even if that’s been tied to my own health.
Perhaps it’s the cold, perhaps it’s more; yet today was a low energy day for Prince. It started with him vomiting three times on the way to our morning vet appointment. I feel scared when Prince vomits in the morning, and he’s had nothing to eat yet. I’m wrestling with what treatment am I willing to do for him, what am I not?
Meaning, I made an agreement with Prince that I would let him choose what he wants done, and respect that. Some of it’s easy to tell. He made the decision weeks ago he was not willing to get Sub-Q fluids even once daily, let alone twice daily. Nor was he willing to do Sub-Q pain meds. I am amazed each day that not only is Prince still in physical body; he’s also quite energetic as his holistic vet pointed out when Prince decided, muzzle or not, to try to get his vet.
Sometimes I wonder what keeps him going. I’ve been told he has something yet to accomplish with/for me, as well as “a man”; there were no details on this last part. As I’ve heard about Prince as has my best friend Karen has who is dealing with her one cat “Abby” who may have IBD or cancer .. some would question spending anything else on a dog who is going to die.
In Prince’s case, my sincere hope is that he will drop dead doing something he loves, such as w-a-l-k-ing or playing with a toy. That would surely be more humane than slowly starving until his kidneys and other organs start to shut down, then having to euthanize him. He got an acupuncture treatment as well as an iron shot. Both will help with energy; yet at some point neither will have much effect.
It may even be these were the last treatment for each of these. Time will tell. The whole topic raises some interesting questions.
I imagine people who aren’t “animal people” might wonder why not just put the “animal” to sleep now. Well, because it’s not time yet .. Prince is still full of life, albeit his energy was low today. In fact, most days I wonder if today will be the “beginning of the end” or is it “just a bad day”. This is why it’s important to be in touch with ones reality, and ones feelings. I
‘ll know when it’s time for Prince to transition out of his physical body. Today he still ate, wanted to walk, wanted to snuggle, wanted life. Likely due to the cold as well, and getting up earlier than I am used to, for Prince’s vet appointment, it was a low energy day for mommy as well. That’s even with a yummy nap with the kids.
Well I guess my day really started with waking up with Blaze in my arms, then once again, pooping in bed.
Tonight, I recommended the movie “Message in a Bottle” to a friend who is still grieving the loss of his human love. This movie I first saw the night before Spikes, my heart & soul kitty disappeared for a few days. By the time I found him three days later, he had slipped into a coma from which he never recovered. Still, almost fifteen years later, I can barely speak about him without pain. I found this page on quotes from the movie. Much of what is on this page is poignant; particularly if you’ve seen the movie multiple times as I have. I’ll leave each of you to determine what your favorite is. Mine has often been Catherine’s letter.
Well, the flow of the day, now that Prince has snuggled up under mommy’s leg, the feel of his warm body and soft fur reminding me to savor our moments together … I may cry.
Or, perhaps, I’ll fall to sleep with a warm comforting presence, a slight smile on my face as I think of these words from the movie, “It is at moments like these that I know my what my purpose is in life. I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.” <3 <3